How To Know It's Time To Reach Out For Support
Apr 19, 2024
If you are anything like I used to be, you wait to ask for help.
When I started out as a “baby counselor” meaning, my first job, I was the teen counselor at my local rape crisis center. It was emotionally tough work. I was trained but was I REALLY ready? I found that during some of the sessions, I had a hard time staying neutral and present (which are keys to being an effective counselor). I struggled but I was embarrassed to tell my supervisor that I was struggling. I worried that it might mean I wasn’t cut out for this work even though I felt like it was the work I was drawn to do.
Eventually, I noticed that I didn’t recognize myself and I didn’t like who I was becoming. I had always been an optimistic person pretty easily. Not because everything in my life had been easy and perfect but it was my natural disposition. I noticed that after being exposed to so many terrible, tragic and traumatic stories, I was feeling less safe. It felt like a filter was clouding my view of the world. I only saw the potential for bad. I noticed that I felt less trust and more anger. I was holding on to everyone else’s negative experiences.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t going to be sustainable.
So, I spoke up and started working with my own counselor. In no time at all, I felt like myself again. I was able to shift my perspective and actually do meaningful work. I’m certain that if I hadn’t reached out for help, I would have burned out long ago.
Whatever it is we are here to do in the world, we need to take care of ourselves in order to actually do our best.
Luckily, I learned an important lesson WAY back then (about 20 years ago). I learned to put my oxygen mask on first. I learned that I could NOT do the work that I know I’m meant to do, if I don’t take care of myself.
I have worked really hard over the years to learn every strategy that can keep me on my path because this work is so important to me. I’ve tried more strategies, techniques and self-care practices than almost anyone I know. When I find something that works, I share it.
But even with all of the strategies and techniques in the world, sometimes, I just need someone else to help me gain perspective and to guide me lovingly back to myself.
So, how do you know if it’s time to reach out for support? Here’s a simple exercise you can do to help you decide.
What if nothing changes and I don’t feel better? What will that look like in 1 year? …5 years? Once you’ve gotten the picture in your mind, ask this question. Am I OK with how my life will look if nothing changes? If the answer is NO, then it’s time.
If you are ready for support, I’d love to support you but if I’m not the right fit, I’m happy to share the resources I have or give you guidance to help you find the right fit. Really, I just want you to live with joy and peace.
You deserve the joy and peace you desire! I’m cheering you on!
Much Love,
Stacey