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Reaching out can feel overwhelming at times.
I have this friend that I admire. One reason I admire her is because she's really great at something that I've had to learn...well, I'm still learning.
She's a leader...literally. She leads a school...an administrator.
When it gets hard and overwhelming. She says it. Out loud. She tells people, "I'm having a hard time. I feel like giving up. I'm overwhelmed."
I noticed that when I felt those things, I was WAY more likely to keep it to myself, to push harder to get myself together. I had this belief that leaders and counselors should model the calm in the storm, keeping it together, always showing up. While there is benefit to taking good care of yourself and showing up consistently...there are clear benefits to reaching out for help.
What I learned is that not only is this a great way to model the idea that "we're all human", there are also some amazing benefits in our brains when we ask for help.
So, in case you need a scientific reason to convince you to reach out, here are some benefits that occur in our brains when we share our difficult feelings.
Seeking help releases oxytocin in our brains. Oxytocin (the hormone associated with trust, social bonding and stress reduction) can reduce feelings of anxiety and improve our overall mood.
Reaching out for help activates the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for executive functions like decision-making and problem-solving. This leads to more cognitive flexibility and a more positive outlook on the situation.
Our feelings of self-efficacy increase when we seek help. Self-efficacy is our belief in our ability to successfully handle a situation. It might seem counter-intuitive, but asking for help boosts our confidence and resilience.
Reaching out for help activates the release of endorphins, which are natural painkillers and mood enhancers.
So, if you're still holding onto the idea of being the super-hero-I-can-handle-anything kind of person, I hope you'll reconsider.
Reaching out for help isn't weak...it actually shows a great deal of courage and confidence.
One last thing...how do YOU feel when you get the chance to help a friend? Pretty good, right? Why deny your friends and loved ones the opportunity to do the same for you?
Now, I'd love to hear from you.
Do you reach out for help or try to do it all on your own? What might happen if you gave someone else the chance to be there for you?
Til next Thursday!
Much Love,
Stacey
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