I SHOULD feel happy...but I don't
Mar 15, 2024
One conversation I’ve had over and over goes something like this. I’m talking to someone about their anxiety.
First, she tells me all about the difficult situations that led to her experience of anxiety. It’s usually a lot. Trauma, unexpected loss, grief, childhood memories of not feeling safe.
Then, she stops. Catches herself.
I have a lot of blessings, too! She says. I’ve really had a great life. I have so much to be thankful for. I SHOULD feel happy….I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
We’ve been taught that gratitude will CURE all of our negative emotions. Gratitude, then, becomes a source of shame and guilt. If you could only look around and see all of the good in your life, you’ll magically heal the difficult parts.
I think that’s where this feeling of “I SHOULD feel happy, but I don’t” comes from.
The human experience is going to have ups and downs. You’re going to go through hard times and you’re going to experience beautiful moments.
BOTH are valid. BOTH are true. BOTH are a part of your experience and deserve your attention.
Healing the trauma. Healing the hurt. Allowing yourself to grieve. These will all lead to more fully experiencing love, joy and peace.
When we attempt to shove down anxiety, we’re shoving down the other emotions too. We’re keeping ourselves outside of the room of peace.
If you think you SHOULD feel happy but you don’t. It just means that there’s something you’ve experienced that you’re still carrying around. Something that hasn’t yet healed. That doesn’t make you wrong, or broken, or a bad person.
Take care of that part of you that needs healing and you’ll feel all the goodness in your life even more deeply. Give yourself love and healing. It’s not asking too much.
You deserve the joy and peace you desire! I’m cheering you on!
Much Love,
Stacey